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The day your baby is born, you are going to be flooded with guests. Everyone wants to get their hands on your little one especially your family members. When a baby is brought into the equation, it can be difficult to divide your time between families and decide who babysits or how often they visit. So, it’s time to set some boundaries. Read on to learn how by following these five simple rules.
Rule #1 Don’t Play Favorites
Do the same thing for every family member. If you send one grandma a card for her birthday, you have to send a card to the other grandma. If you get pictures professionally taken, both sides of the family should receive one. By treating each family member on an equal level, they will be less likely to overstep boundaries since they know their role and importance are the same as everyone else’s’.
Rule #2 Be Honest
If you do not feel like a company when you first bring home the baby; politely decline visitors. New moms feel overwhelmed when they first get home from the hospital and they need their space. They need downtime, and also time to bond with their baby. Help is certainly nice, but it should be on your terms. The sooner you speak up and ask for what you want, the sooner your relatives will understand your needs and overall expectations when it comes to visits.
Rule #3 Alternate Holidays
Some of the biggest family fights occur after grandchildren are added into the mix. Both sets of grandparents want to spend the holidays with you and your child. The only way to be fair is to alternate holidays. Some relatives try to convince you to host a holiday affair so both sides can be in attendance, but that limits the amount of quality time each person gets to spend with the baby. So, by alternating holidays, you will make everyone happy and treat them fairly.
Rule #4 Request A Call First
Some parents love to drop in on their children and grandchildren. But, it may not be the most opportune time to host them, especially since babies nap so much when they are infants. Be sure to require family and friends to call or text you before popping over.
Rule #5 Hire a Date Night Sitter
If both families live in close proximity, jealousy is likely to occur if you ask one set of siblings or grandparents to babysit over another. To resolve this issue, consider hiring a sitter outside of your family unit. This way, no one will feel as though bipartisan is taking place. While it’s fine to use family from time to time; just be sure to ask the other side if they’d like a turn next time!
Splitting your time between both families is truly a balancing act. But, certain boundaries need to be established so that everyone in the family knows their role and respects your wishes.